Sahar, my 3 year old, my first born, started going to Playschool this week.
On the first day, I reached school 40 minutes in advance to pick her up. I was drawn like a magnet, there was nothing I could do with myself at home. One part of me had been so wound up about this event that I had taken a whole week off from work. The Pre-Nursery school was 2 minutes from home but one long hour away from office.
So I picked up the Sudoku that I was being so unsuccessful at and just went to wait it out in the School lobby.
I was fine, not anxious, even being mature and friendly (as opposed to being shy and snobbish) with other waiting Mums.
Then the kids started walking out one by one, being led to the school van waiting for them.
The teacher saw me and indicated that she would soon bring Sahar out. I was chatting up other kids near me, being funny and entertaining with them causing some of them to wrap themselves around their Mum’s legs. Some to come out for a better look.
After 10 minutes of all this, Sahar appeared.
My daughter’s face in the doorway among 6-7 other children. She looked at me and we yelled with joy. We hugged and laughed and slapped each other happily.
Unnecessary happiness. That’s the term that came to my intellectual, literary head. Why are you so happy?
Shut up, brain! my heart had to say.