Category Archives: depression

Imaginary friends never die.

The little girl was very sad. She could not tell why. She made an imaginary friend. He was lovely but he died. Now she knew why she was so sad.

Ah, imaginary friends never die. But this one left the little girl with a reason for her inexplicable, tearful sadness. Now she felt better.

I was 13, then 15. At 16, he died. 
He really was the nicest person who ever lived.  

depression is good for you

Today I read a 7 page article on how depression makes you a better person and sadness should not be stigmatized. Which was a lucky break really because the time I’d have wasted moping around, I spent reading this piece, and in the end felt smarter (for being sad), bored (same old same old) and ready to do some real work

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/magazine/28depression-t.html

Slow Coach


I’m slow.

Say something begins to happen now. I begin to note the symptoms in a few months.
Takes me 6-8 months , sometimes over a year to figure out that I may be depressed. Or angry.

Then 2-3 years, sometimes 6 to figure out why.

Most other things that I’m doing meanwhile, I’m pretty fast at. Fast girl.
Say that again, properly, slowly: I’m pretty fast at most other things I’m doing.

I didn’t used to be so slow. When I was 11 and then 12, I knew I was sad, I even found out I was depressed, and I knew I needed help.

I suppose I finally figured out why we live so long….. we get 50-80 years to amble along slowly, figuring out whatever we want to figure out.
I guess I would like to thank God for that.

Meanwhile there’s a really posh Slow Movement growing really fast in the world. But I want to be slower right now.

Get out of my house right this minute

My therapist/trainer is called Fr. Os

I said one day, I seem depressed. I have no energy, where’s my spirit?
He said: Ask the depression what it wants?

So I did. Depression, what do you want?
The cheeky bastard, it said, I want to defeat you. I want to show you up for what you are. Incompetent, lazy, incapable. A failure.

Mera pride jaag gaya.
You good for nothing cheeky two faced dog, I said. Get out of my house right this minute.

(to think that I once thought it was a friend. to be nurtured, fed and fattened up)