Category Archives: conversations

What were we afraid of losing?

We spent our best years fighting
That was the best thing about them.

We began to live together when we began to fight
We began to fight when we became unafraid of losing.

What were we afraid of losing?
I know I was afraid of losing him.

I was afraid I would be hurt
Now I treat words like falling leaves, not a sharp knife.

When I have no words to counter the barrage from him
I leave the room.

Sometimes I stay and make faces at him
I let him fight with me.

Because that is love
Love slicing through silence like curtains pulled suddenly.

Too much sunlight makes us wince
Sometimes the view distracts us.

Why are you fighting with me, he says
You know why I am fighting with you, I say.

We fight because the silence stifles us
We fight to find out if we are still friends.

I fold some fights in the pages of time
Letting them mature over years.

By the time I bring them out between us
Some of them have become stories to tell.

Sometimes we start fighting as soon as we meet
As if we must accelerate everything.

There isn’t time for everything

So lets get straight to the point, lets fight to keep us together.

Tareef. Praise. Roger Ebert.

Roger Ebert died today. He was 70. This link below has been sitting in the drafts folder of my blog for a long time.
Of course I am proud of the words he used to describe me. I am proud of the connections he fostered between so many people and me.
I still don’t have words to describe or understand the miraculous bond we shared. How did he see in me what I was not aware of? How did he see what had become dormant…why was he so determined to help me find my voice?I’m going to sit down and write it all down. I’m going to tell you and tell myself the whole story.
Rest in Peace, Roger Ebert.

Conversation: fighting like children

We are building a home. We are raising three little children.
Its exhausting, exhilirating, tiresome, mind-numbing……it’s what WE have chosen to do. We like trouble, we take risks…..they just don’t appear to us to be either trouble or risks when we jump into them.
Who knows, maybe they aren’t!
Maybe it is all fun and beautiful like we first thought it would be. (Plus we never do our maths in time)

A: People fight like such small children at work…. the plumber, painter, carpenter, mason
N: :Hmmm
A: Well, even we fight like small children over the house, don’t we?
N: :(she smiles)
A: You don’t take enough interest in the house
N: You spend one hour with the kids everyday, being all lovey-dovey. I spend one hour with the house everyday, pretending to care about the tiles and stone
A: What!
N: My project is the kids, your project is the house. We treat each other’s project the same way…..little contribution, full interference (she smiles widely)
A: ha ha ha!