Category Archives: bonding

The variety of their walking



My friend Lloyd Nebres is Pono’s father. They live in Hawaii. 
http://www.iphoneogram.com/u/9354
Lloyd wrote these words about watching Pono go. He said it for me.

I have this ritual, something I’ve done since Pono was in elementary school. Whenever I drop him off at school, I always stay and watch him walk off, until he’s out of sight. Disappearing through an archway, or into a school building, or around a corner, or into a clutch of friends (almost always girls). 
Most parents dropping their kids off just… drop them off and drive off. Yes, there are the farewell rituals, fond or perfunctory, and everything in between. But… they drive off.
Me, I stay and watch the kid walk off, or drift off, or slouch off, or skip off. The variety of his walking, through the years, seared into my memory now, like ineradicable chemicals on indestructible photographic film.


This morning, I saw him pause and wait for friends (yes, girls) just alighting from the schoolbus. His hug and arm around them so distinctively him, so “aloha boy,” he has been that way since forever.
I note this now because this is coming to an end soon. And will be, for all time remaining afterwards, only in memory. But for now, for this morning, I repeat this ritual once again which, in its own way, is a meditation.”

I stay and watch the kid walk off, or drift off, or slouch off, or skip off. The variety of his walking, through the years, seared into my memory now, like ineradicable chemicals on indestructible photographic film.



Tareef. Praise. Roger Ebert.

Roger Ebert died today. He was 70. This link below has been sitting in the drafts folder of my blog for a long time.
Of course I am proud of the words he used to describe me. I am proud of the connections he fostered between so many people and me.
I still don’t have words to describe or understand the miraculous bond we shared. How did he see in me what I was not aware of? How did he see what had become dormant…why was he so determined to help me find my voice?I’m going to sit down and write it all down. I’m going to tell you and tell myself the whole story.
Rest in Peace, Roger Ebert.

Fate of an Almond


I show her a badam.
She smiles. 7 front teeth.
‘No,’ goes her little head.

I put it in my mouth and chew slowly. Deliberately.
She looks.

I show her some chewed stuff on my tongue.
She looks. A bit intrigued.
She wants, I hope.
She keeps looking.

I take out some from my mouth and quickly put it in her mouth with my finger.

Ummm. New taste. Funny texture.
Nah! I don’t want. She uses her fingers to clean her tongue of almond goo.

I lean forward and put her fingers in my mouth. Lick them clean.

I don’t want any chewed badam on the sofa. Or my skirt.