Ungrateful. Nashukra.

Hear this post here.

The child and I were fooling around after her bath. I draped her in two towels, swaddled like a newborn and I carried her out of the bathroom in my arms. We giggled and I said, “Look, I have a new born baby in my arms.” (naya baby paida hoya hai!)

Something about remembering their babyhood makes children feel very special. They giggle and blush and are happy all over. Just like birthdays.

I carried her outside our room to share our moment. I leaned over the first floor railing from where I could see her and said, “Look, I have a new baby here!”

“I hope to God that he grants you a new born son now,” she said.

I stepped back from the railing and returned to our room. Happiness deflated. I didn’t say anything.

1) My first reaction was in Urdu. Wow, that’s na-shukra of you!
How ungrateful to have a home full of 3 wonderful children and still feel that they are not enough. If even one of them had been a boy, there would be no more pining, would there? There would have been worshipping at the altar of the male child, I suppose.

If all three had been boys, would you have asked for a fourth baby? A girl?

2) My second response was in English. I started writing this blogpost in my head.

3) Anger leads to confusion and I forget what I meant to write here.

4) I actually wrote this. And posted this.

Why should I not be angry about the things that make me angry? Tell me.IMG_6145

About Natasha Badhwar

"Because I'm a Tinker. That's who I am. Tinkers fix things. But I can't do it alone." (Pause for lots of action. Group Action......) "You did it, Tinker, you saved Spring!" I also have three children, one marriage, a million friends and one life.
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6 Responses to Ungrateful. Nashukra.

  1. There is no reason for you not to be angry about someone's insensitivity, especially if it involves one of your children. Just remember that you are powerless and not at fault. Perhaps you should just pray for the person, if you care.

  2. Natasha says:

    Yes, I do care for her. I shall pray for her. And for all of us as well. Thank you, Edgar.

  3. meeraganesh says:

    Chote dil or choti soch waalon ki baat ka kya bura maanna?

  4. genesiaalves says:

    OMG! I have done this with every single one of the children. It is our post bath time thing, my sister! They think it is hilarious that the new born baby has TEETH and can say HI! (which new born babies never do, no?)
    I have known women with boys who yearn for a girl not loving their sons any less. But now in India it is such a bad thing to wonder what it would be like to have a boy if you have girls. Let it be. You know what you have… You have a Sahar, an Aliza, a Naseem. I have an Amaia, an Ilana, an Eli… they could be spotted, dotted, striped or checked… boys or girls… they’re ours.

  5. BeingMama says:

    It’s impossible to know what someone is thinking. I would have been upset if something like that was said in front of my children – their egos are fragile and developing. We all have a mama tiger in us. It’s fine and natural to defend our cubs. More importantly, if my children heard what was said, I would be sure to tell them they were my dreams come true, as I’m sure you did as well! Hugs!

  6. D says:

    It’s conditioning. Some people don’t know any other reality.

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