This is what I was born to do


An old forgotten friend found me and wrote to me and the happiness it has unleashed in my heart seems to have uncorked the writing genie from the bottle.
Maybe it is coincidence, I don’t know. A cat had got my tongue, but I have recovered it.
So much to type in and share…..a lot of it from my notebooks and scraps.

To start, please welcome the love of our lives, Naseem. Our Most Wanted daughter. Baby Bonus.

NamNam is sleeping right now. She’s 11 months old.
She is named after Saeed Akhtar Mirza’s award-winning film, Naseem. Cool breeze of morning. I made it to regain my faith, retain my sanity, he said about the film.

I saw this movie three times alone. Before I met Af.

Baby Nam was born in Batra Hospital on 16 September 2008.

I was lying in bed in the Labour ward crying loudly every time the pain came (I remember wishing I had an overhead camera to roll and record that dramatic, filmy crying). I had a drip going into my arm and my doctor had begun to induce labour in me. The lady in the bed next to mine pleaded with a Nurse, ‘Call her mother please, look how she is crying.’ When my spasm was over, I turned and smiled tiredly at her. It was full house in the ward that morning.

Suddenly, way ahead of Dr. Sen’s expectations, my lower body started convulsing and the baby started to push her way out. Nobody was ready.

Running. Calling out. They transferred me on to the stretcher, held the drip and ran as they wheeled me to the Delivery Room.

“DON”T PUSH, DON’T PUSH. TIGHTEN, Hold on,” people screamed around me. Which made me laugh (almost with pride) because the whole morning we had been hearing the staff screaming at and encouraging other women to “PUSH! ZOR LAGAO, TAKAT SE, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!”

Anyway, I am all nanga-panga, being wheeled hysterically into the Delivery room, and I am suddenly very calm because my body is out of control by now and I know She is coming…….end of the worst pregnancy in the history of my life.

“This is what I born to do” This was the line in my head, crystal clear.

This is what I was born to do.

About Natasha Badhwar

"Because I'm a Tinker. That's who I am. Tinkers fix things. But I can't do it alone." (Pause for lots of action. Group Action......) "You did it, Tinker, you saved Spring!" I also have three children, one marriage, a million friends and one life.
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4 Responses to This is what I was born to do

  1. Tom Dark says:

    And now Baby Nam is Our Baby Too, come to the world hard-earned by her mother. She shares the same birthdate as one of my brothers. XOXO

  2. Me says:

    My first was almost born in an ambulance; I was shocked to my core by the pain. The next two children, also fast, but I knew I could get through it. That is what we do, to bring them here; we dig deep and hang on for dear life, literally.We are bound together, all us mums all over the world, are we not?Baby Nam's spirit shines so strongly! She will grow to be funny and clever and beautiful, and will touch many, I think. Thank you for bringing her. :)mariannesp

  3. Thank you for writing this. It's such a wonderful entry – and it's entirely fitting that the universe gets to know how the most important person in it came to be in it. As you know, Baby Nam is the star of many of my favourite tweets and, as you and I are siblings, she is also my niece. She is clearly a star like her mother. Make her giggle for me. :~) xx

  4. Natasha – To borrow an expression I learned from Tom Dark, this entry is Instant Heartmelt. It strikes particularly close to home now, as we are expecting our second child any day. Thank you for sharing. So pleased the story ended with a happy beginning. Thanks also should go to the “old forgotten friend” who may or may not have prompted you to find the cat that had your tongue. That cursed feline is staying busy. It is currently on the lam after claiming a few valuables from our home, including apparently my favorite pen and my camera’s shutter. It’s reassuring to think these can be still be recovered.

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